A Great Big Dose of Normality

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Well it seems that summer is finally here.  The children have broken up from school, the tube is like a sauna and everyone is excitedly talking about their upcoming holidays.

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Something Worth Celebrating

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I hadn't planned on writing a post about it.  One year since our lives were turned upside down, 12 months since my amazing, beautiful, precious son was diagnosed with leukaemia.  I didn't want to give cancer the satisfaction of acknowledging its existence, of the impact it has had on us all.  It shouldn't get any more time and attention than I am already forced to give it.  It certainly doesn't seem like something worth celebrating.

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You are not alone

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I've been struggling.  Not a huge amount, just a little bit, every once in a while.  It shouldn't be a surprise I suppose, it's probably to be expected.  My son has cancer, how could I not be finding things difficult?  Questions would surely be raised if I wasn't.  Why then does it seem so hard to admit?  I've been struggling and I've been seeing a psychologist.  There, I've said it.

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Screw you Cancer

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Last night I sat in my son's bedroom and held him in my arms as he cried in pain.  His hip hurt and he couldn't find relief from it.  I tried desperately to help.  I rubbed his hip, wiped his tears and whispered comforting words.  We tried different positions, distraction and holding him close, but it wasn't enough.  I couldn't take the pain away.  Not for the first time I felt powerless, frustrated and overwhelmed with sadness for failing to protect him from harm.

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What is maintenance all about?

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We have now reached the end of our first 12 week cycle of the maintenance phase.  We are slowly adjusting to another new normal, one that will last a long time.

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A Mini Holiday

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Our first mini holiday.  3 nights in the Cotswolds.  Our first chance since Hugo's diagnosis nearly 9 months ago to get away.  An opportunity to forget everything else that is going on, to relax, have fun and be together.  Most importantly, a chance to be a normal family, doing normal family things.

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For my Mum

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Dear Mum

It has been two years since you passed away.  I can hardly believe that so much time has gone by, that our lives have somehow managed to continue without you here.  You have missed so much and time has not lessened our sadness or the huge gap you have left in our lives.

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