Showing posts with label chemotherapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemotherapy. Show all posts

End of Treatment Bubble

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It has now been three weeks since Hugo took his last dose of chemotherapy. So what does life on the other side look like?

In many ways it doesn't look very different to life on treatment. There has been medication every day, (although not the yucky chemotherapy or steroid type), the nurse has been twice and the physio has visited Hugo at school. We have all had colds and the worry that Hugo's will develop into something more serious has been there, just like it has been for over 3 years.

The Big Questions

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After three years of treatment, I suspect many people are a bit lost with Hugo's illness and treatment. Here are some of the questions I have been asked and a few others that I thought people might want answers to. 

Leaving Normality

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A couple of months ago, on the way back from a hospital appointment, Hugo asked me what it felt like when I had my bumpy taken out. Bumpy is our name for Hugo's port-a-cath/central line. The little device that sits just under the skin to the side of his chest. It will be removed a few weeks after treatment finishes. I explained that I'd never had one and we chatted for a while about why he does. He seemed content with this, but a couple of days later he asked big brother Henry what it felt like when his bumpy came out. It made me wonder how much Hugo understands of his illness and what 'end of treatment' actually means to him.

Day in the Life - Side Effects

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During the early phases of treatment Hugo suffered with many of the side effects synonymous with cancer. His hair fell out, he was sick, tired and pale. He lost weight, his light dimmed and he looked ill. Now, in this final maintenance phase, the side effects are often less obvious, but very much still there.

Day in the Life - Medication

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I often get asked if Hugo is still on chemotherapy. Has he finished, or is he due another cycle? Treatment for blood cancers can differ from other cancer treatment plans. It is often long, in some cases life long, and I think this can be difficult to comprehend - I know it was for us when we were told his treatment would last for over 3 years. Hopefully this explains a little more about the medication, chemo and otherwise, that Hugo takes for his type of leukaemia (acute lymphoblastic leukaemia).

Day in the Life - Bloods

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Once a week a community nurse comes to our house to take some blood from Hugo via his bumpy. This blood is then sent to the lab and later that day, or the following day, we get a phone call with the results, which I write in our blue folder.

The Long Version

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Over the last few weeks we have had a couple of little blips. Small bumps along the road of our new normal. 

We have these every so often. I don't tend to write about them, because everything turns out to be ok. There's nothing to worry about and it just doesn't seem newsworthy in the bigger picture, once the moment has passed. But I should. Because these bumps are so much a part of our cancer journey. They are the reason why our life is so far from normal, they are the story behind the chemotherapy and the more familiar aspects of a cancer experience.

Bring it on 2018!

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So, we have reached 2018, the year Hugo will finish treatment. It feels significant. The countdown can well and truly begin.

I remember, just after Hugo was diagnosed, reading that treatment for his type of leukaemia would last just over 3 years. I thought it must be a mistake, a bizarre typo. How could life continue with any semblance of normality for that period of time. How could anyone manage 3 years of chemotherapy, let alone a child, my child.

Things I Have Learnt

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It has now been 2 years since Hugo was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.  24 months of our strange, new, cancer filled life.  The learning curve has been steep and I'm pretty sure it's not done yet.  Here are a few of the things I have learnt.

Screw you Cancer

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Last night I sat in my son's bedroom and held him in my arms as he cried in pain.  His hip hurt and he couldn't find relief from it.  I tried desperately to help.  I rubbed his hip, wiped his tears and whispered comforting words.  We tried different positions, distraction and holding him close, but it wasn't enough.  I couldn't take the pain away.  Not for the first time I felt powerless, frustrated and overwhelmed with sadness for failing to protect him from harm.

What is maintenance all about?

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We have now reached the end of our first 12 week cycle of the maintenance phase.  We are slowly adjusting to another new normal, one that will last a long time.

Consolidation

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We are now 4 days into the second phase of Hugo's treatment, consolidation, a short phase at only 3 weeks.

Flying High

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So another big day has arrived.  We were heading up to GOSH where they would give us the results of Hugo's MRD test.  The result that would tell us if he'd achieved remission.  Whether he would be classed as low risk or high risk.

Minimal Residual Disease

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Today saw another trip to GOSH for Hugo, myself, and Richard, and another sleepover for Henry.  Hugo was having a dose of chemotherapy and a bone marrow aspirate.  These are not new for Hugo but today was different, today was a big one.  Today they would be testing to see if Hugo had achieved remission.

Teardrops

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Since diagnosis, 7 days ago, I have had to hold Hugo as he cried while numerous medical staff tried time and time again to insert fresh cannulas into his small hands.  Telling him it will be okay, when it was anything but okay.  Knowing it needed to be done, but still feeling like the worst mum in the world.  Wondering whether the trust between us would be forever damaged.  Now today, they have surrendered and this morning me and his dad took him down to theatre to have a Port inserted.  This is small chamber which is placed under the skin, over the rib cage, which links up to the jugular vein in the neck.  It can be used to take blood and also give chemotherapy, fluids and blood products.  Hugo would have had one fitted in a few weeks, but it has become necessary to do it earlier than planned.

Phase 1 - Induction

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It has been 4 days since Hugo was diagnosed.  We spent the first night at our local hospital and were then transferred by ambulance to Great Ormond Street Hospital (GOSH).  The last 4 days have been a whirlwind, an intense and often surreal experience.