Things I Have Learnt
It has now been 2 years since Hugo was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. 24 months of our strange, new, cancer filled life. The learning curve has been steep and I'm pretty sure it's not done yet. Here are a few of the things I have learnt.
Today I cried
Today I cried. Not a huge great sob fest, just a little tear, catching me unaware. I cry fairly easily. Sad books or films on the TV, even adverts have been known to set me off. However I don't often cry because of Hugo's illness. I think the fight in me stops me, it just feels pointless, a waste of my time and of no use to Hugo. But today I did, just a little.
Watching and Waiting
When Hugo started the maintenance phase of treatment 14 months ago, we were warned that there would be hospital admissions. That Hugo's low immunity would make him susceptible to infections and that his inability to fight these infections would likely mean IV antibiotics administered in hospital. It wasn't a case of if, but of when.
Today I am Stopping
Labels:
acute lymphoblastic leukaemia,
childhood cancer
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Once in a while, on rare occasions, things go just how you would like them to. All the pieces of the jigsaw fit together. An imagined ideal that seemed so out of reach becomes a reality.
All too often these precious moments pass us by in a blur. Lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Drowned out by more challenging or stressful issues. Life rushes by and the chance to stop, take it in and feel thankful passes us by.
Well not this time. Today I am stopping. I am taking it in. I am feeling thankful.
Bumps in the Road
We are plodding along.
What seemed so strange and scary at the beginning has somehow become normal. There is a new standard to measure by and everything is fine, by this new standard, good even. Until it isn't. Until there is a bump in the road.
Halfway
We have now passed the halfway point of treatment. Hugo is currently on month 20, with 18 more to go. We are on the downhill slope towards the end of treatment. That light at the end of the tunnel is getting ever so slightly brighter.
Running - My New Best Friend
Well maybe not my best friend, that spot is already taken. But in recent months, running and I seem to have developed a bond, we have reached an understanding and an appreciation has grown.
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